Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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