god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
