someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
