dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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