my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
