Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
