you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
