I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
