I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
