I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
