Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
