So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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