i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
