New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
