i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
These tits shall not be calmed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
