so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
