Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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