just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i think i just lost a toe
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
