ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
