The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
