Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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