I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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