I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
