Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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