Swine flu. Run for my life!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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