we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
