And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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