i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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