you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
