How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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