i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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