one might say we're banned from that church
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
