I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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