dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
