i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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