The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
