i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
