I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
