good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
