my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
