Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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