You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
