I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
