thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just pee around me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
