Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every concussion has its silver lining
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
