Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
