Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
