Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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