Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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