Just took my morning after pill in the library
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
