tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is Oprah even human
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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