How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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