The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He better not be in your backpack
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
