It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
