I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
