Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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